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This may be premature, but unfortunately it looks like I will soon be saying goodbye to two of my ratties.

One I have been expecting for a while; she's 5, and in the last year we've dealt with 2 URIs, she's lost weight, and at one point I could have sworn she was going to die the next day. Luckily I've managed to get her back up to top health fairly soon in all cases. But lately her fur has been thinning, and hasn't put on any weight lately (and trust me; she's definitely been eating!) and while I've been trying to keep her alive as long as absolutely possible, I've come to accept the fact that her days are limited.

Now I got home from a long day just to find either a tumor or a cyst on her front leg that wasn't there yesterday. It's huge and soft and doesn't seem to be painful. She's still getting around okay, and she might be alright, but I still know that it won't be long.

She's my oldest rat, and the one that I've had the longest (almost 5 years) out of my current rats, and the first one that I got of my own accord, that was truly mine (aside from ones I had when I was a kid). It's going to be so hard to say goodbye.

My other baby, my heart rat, the one who really truly stole my heart and who had my full trust and my complete love and really opened me up, looks like she's out the door. I don't know what's wrong, I just know that she's hardly breathing, and she's having trouble walking, and she's almost 100% about to cross the rainbow bridge. I can't even express my pain enough. I'm crying now and it's just an absolute mess.

I noticed yesterday that something was wrong. At first I thought it was one of my other rats who had hurt her, since I saw a small bloody patch on her nose. I also noticed that she was sort of limping (she was walking on both back paws so nothing broken but likely hurt) I separated her and put her in a smaller cage with my oldest (the one mentioned above) because if she was hurt by one of the others while I was out I know who it would be most likely.

I would have brought her to the vet, but my dad just had a stroke out of town on a hunting trip so I've spent every last penny on plane tickets and hotel because we were told he had 24 hours left to live (and then he pulled through) and I literally have less than $5 between my two accounts, I owe stuff on my credit card, I desperately have to get my car fixed, I have to pay off school, I already took a bunch out of my line of credit, etc. so I really truly can't afford it.

She didn't seem to be suffering though, and she was still eating and drinking and everything, if not as vivaciously as before. I really thought she would be okay.

Honestly I can't even put into words how much she meant to me and maybe that's pathetic but I can't believe that she might not make it. In a way she was like my best friend, y'know? In the animal kingdom at least. Whenever I was sad she was there, she always entertained me, always gave me kisses when I needed them, constantly tried to clean my mouth out. She made me smile when no one and nothing else could have, and I'm just going to miss her so much.

So now I guess I'll just lay in bed with her in my lap and hold her until she closes her eyes and takes her last breath.

I'm just so sad and it's horrible and I don't even know what else to do.
 

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First of all I hope things turn around and break your way... But if it is the end and perhaps this message gets to you in time... remember to say all of the things you might have neglected... remind her how good she is and how important she is to you... and most of all share what love you can in the time you have left... Every second contains an eternity all it's own...

And remind her that there will be family and friends waiting for her at the rainbow bridge to welcome her and take care of her until you see each other again...
 

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Thank you. I held her, pet her, and let her know that I loved her. While she was in my arms it seemed as if she was bruxing, though that might have just been my imagination. She pretty much could not move, and when I thought she was near the end I put her back in with Samantha, one of my other rats who was basically her adopted sister, so that they could share some final moments as well. She ended up lasting for a few days - much longer than I expected she would - and last night she seemed as if she was recovering, as she was actually lifting her head up, her eyes were wide open, and she seemed much more alert. I picked her up and said good bye as I had to leave for the night, and when I got back today she was lying in the corner with Samantha curled up on top of her, but she must have passed either last night or early this morning.
 

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The last few days with a truly beloved friend can be rich and rewarding as well as sad.... But now the curtain has fallen the actor has left the stage and we are left with only the angels of remembrance.

She lives on in your heart as you travel with her spirit. Love remains eternal.
 
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