[Poppyseed]

I just made the appointment. I had been putting it off. The meds were working for a short time and they gave him a more quality last month that he wouldn't have had without them. But now, he is not eating as much. He is breathing harder. He does not want to be with Bastian anymore and cries when Bastian tries to groom him because it's too hard to breathe when that happens. Bastian has been living in Bert's cage for a couple of weeks now and I have tried to give him some time with Odin but the squeaks of pain Odin makes when Bastian is just trying to groom him is too hard to bear. So I haven't put him back and it makes Odin sad that it's too hard to be with his cage mate. I wish Bastian would settle down and just snuggle up to him because that seems to be all Odin wants now, is a Bastian pillow ):

You can easily feel his bones and ribs. He has not been drinking much at all, so is dehydrated and he didn't even finish his apple sauce like usual last night. I've been trying to give him treats he loves since lab blocks seem so hard for him to eat. He only cleans one handed as he can't balance anymore. He stretches all the time. He does perk up when he gets meds or when I'm near his cage. I plan to make a bed on the table tonight so he will not be alone his last night on earth... he hates being out of his cage and is very timid. He has only come around a tiny bit with forced socialization. I think it's best to let him live his life the way HE wants it by keeping him in his cage and petting him inside, rather than taking him out to be terrified. I know a lot of progress was made before his illness.

This is very hard to do but I know it is the right thing. I don't want him to die of self starvation. I don't want him to continue going down hill and continue living in pain. I tried all I can, it wasn't enough.

Last night I made brownies as I never got around to celebrating his and Bastian's first birthday. Odin is only 13 months old... too young to die ): But his lungs are giving up on him all too soon. Steroids and antibiotics are failing to help. Nebulization makes him go down hill even more from the stress. I want tonight to be a celebration, rather than a funeral for him. So we will have a party. He will be celebrating a 13 month birthday and it will also be a goodbye party. I will give him everything I can tonight because it's his last night ):

I will post pictures and a memorial on his lighter brighter months soon. I took some video of him last night. He always seems to perk up when I give him food or medicine but other than that he sleeps and just breathes so hard ): I hope tonight sleeping so close to his cage will make him feel better. I'm glad I can be there for him when he goes under.

It's so hard to let go. Odin: I love you big guy. I love your ever winking face. I know you love me. Now you can see Joshu again and breathe easily. Hopefully both of you will come back to me someday.
Odin as a baby

More Odin:

Tues night:

and a bad video from tues:



I took some picks Wednesday night, the night before but my camera died and I am out of batteries. I will upload them later.

 

[Forensic]

I'm so sorry, Poppyseed. I know how very hard you tried with him. Give him an extra treat from me.

 

[ambernd]

awww.... im so sorry. He will be in a better place... :-( .... tell him i said good luck!

 

[Leiren]

 

[Poppyseed]

Thanks guys. It means a lot to me. I had to work all night and was on the edge of panicing most of my shift. Finally one of my funny sort of friend co workers made me laugh so much from something he said and it cheered me up. Also being so busy made it hard to think about things which made it hard to panic.

It's going to be so hard. I'm going to go give him his little go away party now.

 

[Inesita]

Ah, I'm so sorry

 

[Poppyseed]

We put Odin to sleep this morning. It was very hard to do. But he looks so peaceful right now.

He had gassed. I brought his favorite bed to fall asleep in. They put a thing over his head and gave him the shot. He passed very peacefully. Wish the freaking dog wasn't barking in the kennel though...also wish it didn't cost $73. But it all that matters now is that he is all better and free. I just didn't expect it to be over $40. Oh well.

I gave him kisses, cried, told him I loved him, told him to say hello to Joshu and take good care of him. Told him to keep all the other rats he sees inline like he's known to do. He was very tough it took a while for him to go under.

He went in his bed. I curled him up in a nice sleeping position, gave him a couple of lab blocks, 9 pennies (one for his toll across the river, 8 for any other rats that have none. 9 being Odin's number) The last bit of a brownie I had gave him in celebration before, and a flowering weed (yarrow?) that I had found in the back yard. It was either that or a morning glory. I chose the weed, simple, beautiful, often killed and/or neglected so other more interesting flowers can flourish yet allowed to grow in our yard because we don't see a weed we see a beautiful flower. I haven't done anything with him yet, he lays still in his bed on his table. He will be buried in his bed with all those things at Lothlorien.

I didn't see a sick one eyed feeder rat, I saw a beautiful strong soul wishing to live out a nice happy life. I tried my best. My only wish is that half of his life wasn't struggling to breathe... he breathes easily now.

I hope with my hear him and Joshu will eventually come back to me. Perhaps in a longer lived healthier rat body.

When he passed, I saw a door open with a light of many colors. Bright light colors of green purple cyan and magenta. It was huge and opened to a large simple one eyed rat. Then he stopped breathing and was finally gone...

 

[Leiren]

*sigh* I am deeply sorry

 

[LiamHasRats]

gone to be with the great rat in the sky

 

[twitch]

i'm so sorry for your loss. i know how hard it must have been for you. but you're right, he's breathing easy now and in no way does he blame you for letting him go, in fact he probably thanks you. i'm sure he and joshu will come back to you one day. they know how much love you have for them and i'm sure they would want to be loved like that again.

 

[cashewsmama]

i am so sorry for your loss.

 

[rat_ratscal]

jeez, im almost crying!

heres a joke for you, its kinda stupid: if you're canadian when you go into the washroom and your canadian when you come out of the washroom, what are you while youre in the washroom??

european! (your-a-peein')

heres what i do when im having a really bad day: i saw this clip on the computer of a herd of water buffalo. there was a baby water buffalo in the herd. these 4-5 lions came up and grabbed the baby's backside and dragged it down near the water, then an alligator came up and grabbed its front side. then the rest of the herd of buffalo decided to come back for the baby and attacked the lions and scared away the gator, then the baby walked back barely hurt. what i got out of it was, nomatter what you're going through, a herd of water buffalo may come and save you . just think of that clip. its true to.