I just made the appointment. I had been putting it off. The meds were working for a short time and they gave him a more quality last month that he wouldn't have had without them. But now, he is not eating as much. He is breathing harder. He does not want to be with Bastian anymore and cries when Bastian tries to groom him because it's too hard to breathe when that happens. Bastian has been living in Bert's cage for a couple of weeks now and I have tried to give him some time with Odin but the squeaks of pain Odin makes when Bastian is just trying to groom him is too hard to bear. So I haven't put him back and it makes Odin sad that it's too hard to be with his cage mate. I wish Bastian would settle down and just snuggle up to him because that seems to be all Odin wants now, is a Bastian pillow ):
You can easily feel his bones and ribs. He has not been drinking much at all, so is dehydrated and he didn't even finish his apple sauce like usual last night. I've been trying to give him treats he loves since lab blocks seem so hard for him to eat. He only cleans one handed as he can't balance anymore. He stretches all the time. He does perk up when he gets meds or when I'm near his cage. I plan to make a bed on the table tonight so he will not be alone his last night on earth... he hates being out of his cage and is very timid. He has only come around a tiny bit with forced socialization. I think it's best to let him live his life the way HE wants it by keeping him in his cage and petting him inside, rather than taking him out to be terrified. I know a lot of progress was made before his illness.
This is very hard to do but I know it is the right thing. I don't want him to die of self starvation. I don't want him to continue going down hill and continue living in pain. I tried all I can, it wasn't enough.
Last night I made brownies as I never got around to celebrating his and Bastian's first birthday. Odin is only 13 months old... too young to die ): But his lungs are giving up on him all too soon. Steroids and antibiotics are failing to help. Nebulization makes him go down hill even more from the stress. I want tonight to be a celebration, rather than a funeral for him. So we will have a party. He will be celebrating a 13 month birthday and it will also be a goodbye party. I will give him everything I can tonight because it's his last night ):
I will post pictures and a memorial on his lighter brighter months soon. I took some video of him last night. He always seems to perk up when I give him food or medicine but other than that he sleeps and just breathes so hard ): I hope tonight sleeping so close to his cage will make him feel better. I'm glad I can be there for him when he goes under.
It's so hard to let go. Odin: I love you big guy. I love your ever winking face. I know you love me. Now you can see Joshu again and breathe easily. Hopefully both of you will come back to me someday.
Odin as a baby
and a bad video from tues:
I took some picks Wednesday night, the night before but my camera died and I am out of batteries. I will upload them later.