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Discussion Starter #1
My family doesn't approve of me having rats as pets, regardless of how happy they make me. My Mother is really going over the top with this. You know what she gave me for Christmas? (We exchanged gifts this morning due to travel plans.)

A sonic rodent repellent. Designed to drive rats crazy so they leave your house. Designed for people with rodent infestation.

Thanks Mom. Not that I care about gifts, but I know that was a personal jab at me.

Every time I talk to her, she makes it a point to talk about very gruesome and violent ways she wants my rats to die. I think I might be done with that woman. There is so much more to the situation that makes me really really want to speak to that woman ever again.
 

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Whoa that's very cruel of her, she is very mean. How could a mom go that much out of her way to be so mean to her child, and all of it on purpose!!! I'm not getting along with my parents that much; they are rather good parents but very annoying LOL. My mom can be quite a (fill in the blanks) too, but I don't think she would go that far... although she called my rats "nasty animals" more than once, plus other stuff I can't really remember because I just put my phone on mute and doesn't pay attention to whatever she has to say, LOL. My parents are over 5,000 miles away so that makes things easier, LOL. Sure she gave you birth but that doesn't mean you owe her anything if she is mean to you- It is totally ok to stop talking to her, you are your own person and you can do whatever you want. She is toxic and makes you sad- I'd say stop talking to her and see if she grows up and wise up a little. So sorry your mom is that mean, it got to hurt a lot because I know how much you love your babies.
 

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wow that is a whole new level of cruel :(

I have a huge family and was raised where family was everything, and my family is very important to me, but I also was raised that blood doesn't always mean family and that family is more than just blood. We don't have to be best friends, or get along all the time, but you have to love me, care about me and respect me. If you can not do that.... then I have no reason to have you in my life.

It is not always easy but it is healthy and good for you. If they wanted to be a part of your life they wouldn't treat you that way.

My dad is the actual definition of evil scum, and is in prison for it. He kept trying to contact me and making me feel horrible & guilty for not contacting him back. Luckily I had an amazing therapist at the time & she told me no don't give in. He will not change, he will not be the person I need, want or deserve so it is not worth my time, energy or feelings getting hurt to try. I don't owe anyone anything. They have to earn a place in your life.And now I haven't had any contact in avery very long time and yeah sometimes I would feel sad about that but I realized I wasn't even really missing him, I was missing what I wish he was and he will never be that.

Seriously I don't care who it was if someone went out of their way to give me such a hurtful gift, not even just because it was cruel to your pets but that is not even worthy of a gift, I would so cut them out of my life.

And I so am ok with people not liking rats. No one is going to like every animal out there. I don't like bugs and they are super gross. But people keep them as pets sometimes. You don't have to like them. But you can't be a huge jerk or cruel or hurtful to me about it.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
My Mother was also abusive to me growing up and refuses to acknowledge my mental illness saying that "there is no such thing as bi-polar disorder - just lazy people who want attention and who don't pray enough."

Family is so important but just because you gave birth to me doesn't mean you have the right to be in my life. That right needs to be earned. I think I'm done. I hate to say it, but I'm done. I feel 2 inches tall when I am in the same room with her. It just isn't right and isn't healthy.

Thanks for letting me rant.
 

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I can't remember exactly what my mom said...but it was something like "good, one less rat" when I said one of my rat had died. I just don't listen to her anymore or talk about my rats with her. The first time I said I had rats they asked if I had found them on the street and if they were sewer rats, LOL, idiots, right? I haven't seen them in 10 years; talk to them on the phone every 3 weeks or so.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Oh gosh that reminds me! When Olive died, she died on my chest when we were napping together waiting for the vet's office to open so I could get her put to sleep.

Her death really hit me hard and I withdrew for a while. My Mom kept trying to call me and I finally answered and it was obvious I had been crying. She asked what was wrong and I said, "My favorite rat died while we took a nap together."

Her response was - "That's disgusting! You slept with a dead rat?!?"
 

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I'm thankful my mum is super supportive about my 9 pets (yes, nine). She calls them all her grandchildren and whenever I talk to her and mention to her that one is feeling ill she always offers to help pay for veterinary costs. She's an angel.

My dad is the actual definition of evil scum, and is in prison for it. He kept trying to contact me and making me feel horrible & guilty for not contacting him back. Luckily I had an amazing therapist at the time & she told me no don't give in. He will not change, he will not be the person I need, want or deserve so it is not worth my time, energy or feelings getting hurt to try. I don't owe anyone anything.
My father is also prison and this advice was actually really helpful. I have never called, visited or sent him a letter since he became incarcerated and family members have told me that I'm awful for not doing so.

My Mother was also abusive to me growing up and refuses to acknowledge my mental illness saying that "there is no such thing as bi-polar disorder - just lazy people who want attention and who don't pray enough."
I'm sorry that you have to deal with a person like this that won't even acknowledge you having a mental illness. Your mother honestly sounds like a complete b**** and I have no idea how you have put up with her for so long, cut her out of your life ASAP.
 

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My parents and I never got along and just like you, I am a victim of abuse from my parents as well. I have severe depression and anxiety, but they deny mental health even exists and thinks I'm "immature and need to grow up." I was born into a very traditional family where blood means you're family and family is everything; of course, we can all confirm that that isn't always the case. My parents aren't big fans of pets either and they want me to get rid of my pets all the time.

I'd have to say your mother's gift is definitely overboard. Sure she may not be a fan of rats, but it isn't like they're ruining your life nor ruining hers. I wish some people respected each other more and keep their interests to themselves.

My parents, particularly my mother, is verbally abusive (She used to be physical). She's similar to you in ways where she doesn't acknowledge mental illness either, she thinks it's immaturity. My pets are literally my life and kids, and she's backed off a bit because she knows I'll rage and flip out if she goes any further on telling me to get rid of my pets and they're a waste of money. She's ruined my life a lot more than just being mean to my pets, so I have no problem cutting her out of my life. It's certainly made my life easier and better.

I haven't seen or spoke to my mother in nearly 6 years now. I'm shamed in my family for it, even my siblings disregard my existence, but I've never been happier in my life since.
 

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She sounds really rude. Why go out of your way to be mean to someone over an animal? Its just an animal. Most of my family couldn't care less about my rats to even talk about them at all. I'm lucky that my mum is a big animal lover and adores my rats, she takes care of them for up to a month or more when I have to go into hospital.
 

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I had a great aunt offer me $100 if I would get rid of my rats. Needless to say the answer was no. Later my mom said she meant it as a joke, but at the time I was soooooo offended as I knew my great aunt disliked rodents. Heck, most of my family dislikes rodents. And snakes, and kinda birds . Depends if they're flying or not, LOL.

Sigh. Family.
 
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