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Discussion Starter #1
RE: Sick 4 week old boy...please help

Okay since the mods take away anything that might cause any feeling whatsoever, I'm re-posting this post as it warrents more than a "locking":


samsterandrocky: honey, you need to seek professional help. Not just mod help, PROFESSIONAL help, and I'm in a place where I can recommend it truthfully.

If you are a cutter, then you need more than a "mod"'s help. You should seek out someone in the field of psychology in your area. A moderator cannot provide the true help you honestly need.

Cutting is not something to take lightly and not something to use in a casual post.

If you were using it as a mere sympathy post, fine. Over and done with.

However, if you're seriously, then you should look into what your health care provider will cover, because this is serious.

I wish you the best and STRONGLY recommend that you go beyond here, and seek true professional help. :)
 

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You could have PM'd her... this didn't need to be public.
 

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I agree with Sparker, but I also understand where rattikins is coming from. Samsterandrocky made this public when she wrote it and pressed submit. >.< I understand that its a VERY touchy subject, and it put me in a really difficult situation becuase anyone who says this sort of thing for all to hear is a cry for help...how can you not say or do something for the person ya know? Then again, this is a forum and the only one who can help her is herself.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
This DOES need to be public, because it's not right to just "end" a post because it might cause painful feelings. If it's in need of further help then so be it!!

I only posted this because a mod said to private message HER (the mod) for help. A mod is NOT a professional, capable of helping such an individual.

That's not enough for a "cutter" she needs PROFESSIONAL help and shouldn't think that a mod is enough.

I wish the best to her and HOPE to god that she seeks professional help and only made this post BECAUSE she needs to know that her problem is beyond the scope of a moderator and falls in the scope of a professional counselor!! :(
 

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I know where you are coming from rattikins, and I am happy you care so much, even if most of us didnt agree with the chick!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I don't think that her post was "right" but I do think that she need some real help.

And unfortunately I know that the moderators, although well meaning, are not professionals.

If she is looking for real therapy I can hook her up.

She most definitely needs real help and hopefully she will come here again in search of some real help :)

However, if she simply continues to come here and randomly seek last minute "save my pet" without vet help bullsh*t, I'm not going to help :p LOL
 

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Discussion Starter #7
And to sparkler, I think THIS does need to be public....

I don't think that it's ALWAYS right for the mods to just "lock" a delicate thread.

That is my number one issue with this forum. If a thread gets too "heated" the mod just lock it. Sometimes it's beneficial to let an "argument" work itself out. People can GROW from such an experience or in the very least learn something about themselves which often leads to growth!!

How can ONE individual decide if a thread is "lockable"

It's not their sole right if the thread is in need of further help, who are they to "take over" and tell us we are no longer needed.

Some of us have more right to "help" then they ever could :)
 

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In all fairness, we can't assume she isn't receiving counseling... We only think she must not be. Self injury can still occur with therapy (and is often expected to in the early days and with relapse), if the underlying issues aren't being resolved, or if the person hasn't learned to properly cope with the situations.

Coming from a background that involved psychiatric treatment, I'd hesitate to assume there isn't help being provided in "real life".

If there's ISN'T, however, there needs to be. I concur with that.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Trust me in that I can help her find the care she needs.

I don't think that it's proper to simply "lock" the thread and say to contact the "mod" as if the mod is a counselor.

She needs professional help and should find it. I will help her do so if she replies.

But I will NOT allow her to simply talk to a random mod to get help. She needs real help :)

Trust me when I say I'll "fight it to the death" if it comes to it. It's very important to me that she finds the help she truly needs! And a simple mod lock will not stop me from helping someone in need!

If I get deleted as a member so be it. It's important that you all see this as a landmark. If a mod is willing to delete me to silence any "revolt" even when it will truly help another, then so be it. That is important to know, what this is all about. I'm only here to help and WILL NOT be silenced!!! :)

I do not agree with the "mods" deciding when a post is "locked" it's not appropriate and just. They should not simply end a thread.
 

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I could too, I'm sure. I never said she didn't NEED help (quite the opposite). I spent years with an online group that helped teens and young adults who were in emotional crisis. I also know there was a lot of legal trouble and that's why it's no longer.

But it's not anyone's responsibility. It's her own. If Samsterandrocky wants help, she'll ask for it, I'm sure. I don't think a mod or anyone here is qualified to do more, and I don't think anyone stated such.

I may be wrong, but actually, the mods and admin can get into legal trouble. They may want to be contacted privately if she needs help, and will point her in the direction that you would as well. I've had my own forums online, and we discouraged such talk in public, because of legal issues. I don't think most people realize what admins and mods could be held accountable for in the online world. That's why most forums have the rules they do. If a mod here stated they wish to be contacted privately and wants to close the thread, then they certainly have the right to do so.

If you'd like to help her, why not PM Samsterandrocky and let her decide if she wants the help?

Either way, it's not going to help her that everyone is discussing her in a public forum. She's probably got enough going on right now, this is not going to help one bit.

My 2 cents, from years of experience... both my own and others. That's about all I can give, just like anyone else.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
So you're saying that if I offer her actual help it's wrong and a mod is the only one who can legally offer her help? Weird and wrong :p
 

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Um. No. Nowhere close.

You said - You wouldn't let a mod help her (implying a mod would attempt to play shrink), but you could (offer her real help).

I say - If you want to help her - and obviously you do and would be willing to get banned trying - why not OFFER the help and let her take it from there?

I said the mods MAY be hesitant to continue this on a PUBLIC forum because of LEGAL issues.

I said the mod may very well be intending to offer her the same advice you are.

I said nothing about you offering her help being wrong. Nor did I say anything about a mod being the only one legally able to offer her help. You keep reading what I'm saying and thinking I'm saying something completely different.
 

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Sorry to post again, but I'm seriously not the one to fight against here. What I am saying, put differently:

If you want to help her, offer it. Let her decide. She is an adult. She is obviously already in distress. Continuing to discuss her issues and how we think they should be handled on a public form will NOT help her. If you want to help her, then offer it to her privately. Put the ball in her court. Let her take the lead from there, if she wants it. That would be the best way to help her. She NEEDS the power if she's self injuring. Offering and letting her decide will go a long way.

I'm not the enemy, here, Rattikins! I didn't once say I was against you, I was merely trying to show the way the mod might see things, and suggest there may be a better way if you want to help. This thread is probably going to do more harm than good, with the way it went.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I'm sorry kimmiekins

You're a sweetie and I"m sure you're right

I guess I'll leave this to the Mods and HOPE TO GOD that they direct her to a professional NOT simply give her therapy themselves

Thanks again
 

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Discussion Starter #15
BUT I will not say that it's in anyway right for the mods to "lock" a thread when they think that it's heavy.

There may be people who can actually help her and I don't agree with unnecessarily ending a thread, unless they themselves are counselors and can follow through when they say to message them. :?
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Kimmiekins said:
I'm not the enemy, here, Rattikins! I didn't once say I was against you
I know you're not Kimmiekins!! :)

This isn't about me and you anyway... it's about a mod saying they are best suited to provide help to a very disturbed individual. :)
 

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People were getting rather heated and intense. I have been a member of tons of forums, when people start to troll a certain individual and post that strongly against what they are doing it is very sound grounds for a locking. What do you think a mod is supposed to do? That is their job and I think they could be MUCH more strict and have seen forums that have mods that are much more strict than that. If you don't respect their authority you could leave this forum. It is a public place yes but it is ran privately. No one is keeping you here.

If you have problems with a mods actions, you could always take it up with ratman or another mod. You don't need to repost a locked thread. That is kind of disrespectful.

And she has left, or is just lurking occasionally now. Leave the poor girl alone. She has had a lot of things happen and when you aren't stable that can be feel very horrible. Especially a young death like that and when people claim it's all her fault ): Maybe the baby died like that because it was taken from the mom so early because of the abscess thing? Maybe it had some genetic disease and couldn't be saved no matter how soon she got it to the vet. I agree the rat should of been taken to the vet but there is no telling if that could of saved the poor guy. What is done is done, she is learning and doing a very strong thing by giving her rats up for adoption and what does everyone do: They yell at her for it. They tell her she is lying when no one can really prove if she is or not.

Yes, she should get help but she has pointed out she is putting up for adoption one of her major stressors: That messed up rat situation from a rat that belonged to someone else. We can't tell what is true or what is a lie, so we can't JUDGE that. We can only give help based on what someone is telling us.
 

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Hear, hear Poppyseed!!!!

I AM the one who reported this thread! I am on many forums and know when a thread is getting out of hand, and this one was. The comments made were not helpful any longer. The mods HAD to lock this one. I am a moderator on another board and usually let things work out themselves with a subtle suggestion of "keep on topic" or a reminder, etc, but this one was just making me uncomfortable to read, I can't imagine how the original poster felt. 8O

Lying is an automatic assumption on this forum, and things got way off topic and personal. Yes, she shouldn't have mentioned the razor but instead of asking why she mentinoned it, you all go off on her.

I am sooo sorry for little Sphinx, but as others have mentioned, he was taken from Mom way too early, mom had a serious infection going which may have made it into her milk and his poor immune system had no chance with that.

Unless SamsterandRocky does this again, I will believe she is rehoming the animals. I am a cynical one, but like to be proven wrong sometimes.

If you feel you can offer a helping hand to SandR then PM her, don't discuss her in yet another post. If people did that to me I'd be royallllly upset!
 

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Discussion Starter #19
First I would like to apologize for being a bit too passionate.

However, I believe that it is not being recognized that I in no way am attacking samsterandrocky and I am trying to make a point in that what I was attempting was to HELP her. REALLY help her. I felt as though locking the other thread just brushed her under the rug and wasn't enough in my opinion. "We don't like icky things so let's just make it go away" which is not moral when a human being is saying things that are so hazardous.

I had a very strong personal urge to make sure that she knew that she needs real help, not just to be ignored because she's weird or something.

I made this thread out of caring, but I completely understand that my emotions made it go too far for the likes of those on this board.

I promise, I will get used to the level of control here, and respectfully apologize to all those whom this offended. That was never my intention. Again I gracefully apologize. :)
 

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rattikins - if you read the rules for this forum you will see that rule 1c starts - members are asked not to be "back seat moderators". The rules are here, I suggest you read them.

The reason I locked that thread was not because it was a little sensitive, it was because people were abusing the girl, calling her a liar and telling her to go ahead and kill herself!!

My offer to help her was to give her a place to talk about her rats away from the public bashing, and then to try to persuade her to seek proper help for her issues. I do not pretend to be qualified in helping people with "issues" and nor would I attempt to.

And guess what, I'm locking this thread, too! If SamsterAndRocky wants to talk about her personal life any further, it should not be in a public forum, unless SHE chooses to put it there - it is not down to you to decide that it NEEDS to be public!

In future, if you have a problem with a moderators' actions, please take it up with the moderator concerned, in a private message, or with Ratman (not another moderator).

Lilspaz - I appreciate your gesture, but you shouldn't take any heat for complaining about the previous thread - you were one of many that complained about it. I appreciate you bringing it to my attention, though.
 
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