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Discussion Starter #1
Not long ago, I found my big sweet boy laying in his usual spot under the water bottle. I said his name but he didn't move. I opened the door, and when he didn't even twitch an ear I had a horrible sinking feeling that he was gone. When I saw his face I knew. The life was gone from his eyes. I have no idea what could have happened to him or what could have been wrong. He was his same old sweet self earlier today, crawling around on the desk and climbing into my lap for skritches and kisses. He was my baby, the first rat to give me kisses, to boggle, to come when I called his name. I think it's been over an hour now and I can't stop crying. I have never been this heartbroken before. I loved him so much. I'll put up pictures later but I don't think I could look at them right now without completely breaking down.
 

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oh dear, i'm so sorry for your loss. a had a sudden and unexpected death happen to me once too and it just hits you like a sucker punch to the gut. at least when the sick or the old ones pass on you have some forewarning, but when you just find them not moving anymore though just a few hours ago they were giving you kisses, well it just hurts so much more.

i wish there was more i could say to help make the pain go away but words are just so inadequte at times like these. i'm really sorry
 

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That is terrible. I'm so sorry.
 

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I'm sorry for your loss, Mana :(

If it's any help at all... if he was his same sweet self earlier in the day, then it seems he didn't suffer...

RIP Rokk
 

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I'm so sorry... At least it sounds like it was swift and painless...
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thank you everyone. It was such a shock. Even the girls were confused. They were sniffing him and walking on him, trying to get a reaction. I got them out of there, and then wrapped him up in his favorite red towel (when I cleaned the cage and brought him back in onto that towel, he would "dance" and then start digging around in the corner to make a little nest of it to sleep in).

The girls and I spent some time mourning his loss last night. They all climbed into my lap, even Sakura who still mostly avoids me, and I petted each of them and told them that Rokk had gone to the Rainbow Bridge, which was a wonderful place, and he would get to play all day and eat yogies and there are lots of places to climb and hide and sleep, and as much pea fishing as any rat could want. And I told them that when they go, Rokk is already over there to greet them and groom them and show them around. I'm sure he misses them and will be happy to see them, even though they didn't always all get along - I think it was more in the way that siblings don't, and not that they actually didn't like each other. I also told them not to go for a long, long time, not until they're old, because then they'll really love being able to run and jump and play like a young rat.

I buried him this morning. Wrapped in his favorite towel, I gave him a few of his beloved yogies, although I'm sure he's eating more than he should right now. I read a few times about people giving them some change to take with, to pay their toll. I originally put in 7 pennies, one for each week he was with me.. and then I thought of all the poor rats who arrive with nothing, fed to snakes or just not cared for properly, so I gave him a handful more and told him to help as many rats as he could because they are all precious and wonderful and deserve to be happy forever. I told him how much I loved him and that I would miss him, and someday I'll go visit the Bridge and we can play together and he can climb onto my shoulder and brux in my ear and I'll give him skritches and kisses and tickle the little black spot on his tummy.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of him.











I will miss you, sweet boy.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss Mana :(

I made you this memorial, and send you my most sincere thoughts at this time of pain.

Rokk is lounging around at the Rainbow Bridge, waiting to see you again someday.

 

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I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved Rokk. :(

He was a beautiful spirit and is bouncing around the bridge right now.

((hugs))

Unexpected losses are soo hard on us.
 

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8O I am so very sorry about your loss. As donna mentioned in the posts above me, at least he was happier earlier in the day :( . Rats are some of th e most fantastic pets but its so unfair to have them bc we love them all so much for the short period of time that they are with us. you loved him so much though and he knows that.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Oh that is beautiful, rattikins. It started another flood of tears.. that picture was from our first night together. I put it as the background on my desktop, so I can still see him every day. Thank you so much.

And thank you everyone. I've been dreading telling people about this, because I wouldn't be able to stand hearing anyone say anything like "he was just a rat" or "just go buy another one" or comments about how much I spent getting him neutered. Fortunately the people closest to me who I have told have been very sympathetic and understanding.

I have never been this distraught over anyone's death before.. I'm so thankful I have my girls or I don't think I could even have gotten out of bed today. He took a piece of my heart with him.
 

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Mana said:
Oh that is beautiful, rattikins. It started another flood of tears.. that picture was from our first night together. I put it as the background on my desktop, so I can still see him every day. Thank you so much.
You're very welcome Mana.

I know people say this often, but it's true - time will heal your wounds. It seems that not much else will. This will be a process, but in time you will only remember the happy memories and be thankful for having had him in your life, no matter how short that time was. :)
 

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Mana said:
I've been dreading telling people about this, because I wouldn't be able to stand hearing anyone say anything like "he was just a rat" or "just go buy another one" or comments about how much I spent getting him neutered.
i know exactly what you mean. i lost my first rat at the beginning of this month and many of my close friends don't know about it. i don't have it in me at the moment to defend my poor goober. i can't really even talk about his passing, let alone defend him.
 

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Oh my! I'm so sorry Mana! I was surprised to see his pic with rip on it and had to find out what happened and am stunned as well ): It's hard when there isn't anything you can do. *hugs*
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Thank you Poppyseed. I think the worst part, other than not having him around of course, is not even knowing what happened to him.. but I do think he went quickly and didn't suffer at all, because he looked so peaceful and I didn't hear anything unusual from the cage.

I really miss him :(
 

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I'm with Poppyseed on that. I had no idea, until I saw your signature Mana. I'm so sorry to hear this :( *hug*
 
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