Hello, and welcome to the ratforum. I am so sorry to hear about your Peaches. I myself had to let a rat go (He has a sudden onset pituitary tumor) in December and I still miss my sweet boy. Fortunately, this place is a fantastic tool for all things rat and there are plenty of people who understand the grief of losing a precious ratty. Do not be afraid to feel sad at this time - we all get it! Sometimes it help to write a little memorial for them on the forums to get all your feelings out and as a way to look back on all the great things about them. Our family buried Kiwi in a special spot in our garden and as corny as it sounds, we still sometimes go over there and talk about our day. In any case, my condolences.